My therapist finally raised the topic of relationships. She began by asking if I was okay discussing the details with her. After mulling it over for a minute, I realised I didn’t care. Sure she was heterosexual and there was some resistance on my part initially about discussing such issues, she is a therapist and everything said within the four walls of that room are confidential. In any case, I do know that I’d rather have a female therapist than a male one (unless he’s gay – then he would go to the top of the list!). After talking about my ex (enough said) I told her I was seeing someone casually and she asked if he made me happy. While I answered that he did for now, inside I wasn’t sure.
Tag Archives: relationships
How To Come Out With Style In Nigeria
In 2004 Bisi Alimi, a recent university graduate and activist came out on the national TV talk show “New Dawn” in Nigeria. He had been outed in the university by a magazine and this made the rest of his stay in school difficult and led to some difficulty in getting his certificate on account of “moral issues” even though he had completed all the coursework required. However coming out on live national television at a time when many people still thought gay men and women only existed outside the country pushed the issue to the fore-front and led to him being ostracized by friends and family but especially by other gay men who didn’t want to be seen with him for fear that others may suspect that they were gay too. Also he began to receive death threats and finally an attempt was made on his life after which he left Nigeria in 2007 and moved to the United Kingdom where he now lives and works. Read the rest of this entry »
An Evening With A Scoundrel
Being single and without friends in a new city can be tough. Meeting men isn’t especially in a place like London. I recently met a slightly older gentleman who was very hot, friendly and funny (humour is a big thing where I’m concerned). We had drinks a few times and danced the horizontal cha-cha. It was all very casual but he was beginning to get serious, calling and texting all the time and I wasn’t sure if I was into him that much (for reasons that will be discussed later). I let him know subtly that I wasn’t where he seemed to be but I wasn’t sure if he understood completely. However I actually enjoyed talking to him a lot and we continued to meet up for coffee (but without any more dancing). Anyway a few days ago he invited me out for drinks with a few of his friends. It was a fun evening and as things were winding down we were joined by a very good-looking, slender young man who sat next to him, not saying much. The evening took a very interesting turn from then on. Read the rest of this entry »
Flirting With Bisexuality: How I Learned Too Much About Viagra
Over Christmas I got a call from my ex. Not my ex-boyfriend who I’ve talked about many times but the last girl I dated. Even though it has been a more than few years since we broke up, we are still in contact. Though we don’t chat often, when we do it’s always long, rich and interesting. We had been good friends before we started dating and we still had that friend connection. One of the things she said as she ended the call was how good she felt that we had remained friends, that our brief relationship made us drift apart and she looked forward to continuing our friendship. It made me remember our last month together. Read the rest of this entry »
How To Break Up With The Love of Your Life
Recently a friend sent me the following children’s tale about the pig and the scorpion:
One day the pig and the scorpion wanted to cross a pond. The pig could swim but the scorpion couldn’t.
The scorpion said, “pig let me ride your back across the pond!”
Pig: “No! You will sting me and we will both drown and die.”
Scorpion: ” Now why would I do that, it makes no sense?”
Pig: ” Okay, hop on!”
As they reached the middle of the pond the scorpion stings the pig and they begin to drown.
Pig: “Why did you do that? Now we are both going to die!”
Scorpion: “It’s in my nature!”
(How come many so-called children’s stories have such dark themes?)
When I was much younger, a friend told me she strongly believed that if everyone in the whole world died and I was the last living person, it wouldn’t bother me in the least. It was not a compliment. This assessment of my personality came out of nowhere and it still bothers me that someone could think me that unfeeling. I’m beginning to wonder if it’s really in my nature to be so difficult in interpersonal relationships and whether I am destined to be alone. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of almost two years and these past couple of weeks have been difficult. Read the rest of this entry »
Glimpses of My Father
One of the challenges I continuously encounter in the world of anonymous blogging is determining how much personal information to release about myself and others. My full name, pictures and such stuff I know to avoid but certain conversations, interests and experiences I find myself unable to decide whether or not I should share them and I feel this one may be one of such.
Transient Playgrounds and Fleeting Friendships
Years ago I read a science fiction short story about a wildlife reserve that one could experience in two ways – as a tribesman who is a full participant in all the activities of the habitat or as a spectator who could observe every event that took place but not engage in any of it. Reading posts often gives me similar sensation to the latter experience: of being an observer and witnessing the experiences of another person without actually being a part of the event. Other times I feel like I’m reading a constantly evolving autobiography in small parts as opposed to reading a summary of someone’s life that has been whittled down and prettied up for public consumption. Read the rest of this entry »
My mother and I are quite close and we talk at least once a week, usually for an hour or close to it. So a few days ago I was getting ready to go to a friend’s for lunch when I got a call from her. After going through the recent family gossip (where family includes extended family so this part of the conversation took awhile) we came to the subject of why I’m still not married. I told her I’m not ready for anything that serious and I’d like to focus on my work for now. She said she understood but that I ‘needed’ to be married in two years time. I guess two years are my time limit to telling her the truth since I don’t see myself marrying a woman within this period. On another note does anyone ever need to get married? Read the rest of this entry »
All In The Family
After recently moving house(or tiny apartment to be precise) I found myself without internet access since the phone company were taking forever to come by and set things up. Stuck with a dongle that barely worked after a (relatively) obscene fee with most of my books and other things still in storage, I had to focus on areas on my life that I had ignored for far too long: the people in it. It’s funny how you begin to see things when you pay attention
Read the rest of this entry »
Better Late Than Never!
Finally back on line after a month of waiting for a new internet connection then having my router short-circuit from a power surge. It was a lesson in patience, one that I hope never to experience again.
I was tagged in this Q&A game awhile ago by Rainey which involves answering a group of questions and formulating yours. This has come at a great time since I needed something to cheer me up today.
The rules are as follows:
1. You must post the rules.
2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.
3. Create eleven new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged.
4. Tag eleven people with a link to your post.
5. Let them know they’ve been tagged.
The questions and my answers: Read the rest of this entry »