Just after reading that the anti-gay bill was slowly making its way again in Uganda, it seems another African country has decided to go down that road. The Gambia, the smallest continental African country known for its beautiful beaches, friendly people and infamous autocratic ruler Yahya Jammeh (of the ridiculous HIV cure) has passed a law that metes out life sentences for aggravated homosexuality – meaning having sex with someone who has been drugged, a minor (below 18 years), or with an IQ below normal. Currently gay sex in the country is punishable by a five to seven-year jail sentence. While The Gambian President is yet to sign it, I have little doubt that he will, after all this is a man who said on national television recently that : “We will fight these vermins called homosexuals or gays the same way we are fighting malaria-causing mosquitoes, if not more aggressively.” It’s quite interesting that The Gambia does deal out such sentences to men who sleep with underage girls or marry them. According to UNICEF, about 46.5% of girls are married before 18.
I’m not sure what this country plans to achieve with this new law. I’m not sure of the benefit to their president, seeing as he doesn’t have any major political opponents. If it’s to satisfy the Gambian people, I’m certain there other ways to do that besides attempting to control what some adults choose to do in their private lives with other consenting adults.
I keep wondering what I can do as an African gay man to stem this tide of hate.
One of the issues that has come up during talks with my psychologist is my hidden desires. We agreed that it was time I explored some of them. As I found myself caught in a wrestler’s sleeper hold a few days later, feeling dizzy but tapping away frantically on the floor, I doubted this was what either of us had in mind. Read the rest of this entry »
While the Police has begun seizing people’s phones at random and checking for incriminating pictures, luring and arresting suspected gay men all in the name of bribes curbing the homosexual menace, most gay men and women have bound to together to form support groups and networks and protect each other while others have taken to speaking against the law. There has been support from the heterosexual community such as Nobel laureate Wole Soyinka (whose piece requires a good dictionary to follow), musician Seun Kuti who also advocated for gay people to come out, and blogger Ayo Sogunro who succinctly (and satirically) explained why even heterosexual men and women should be worried about this new law.
On the hand, two gay men got were caught by a mob of young men and forced to have sex with each other. The episode was recorded on multiple mobile phones by onlookers and uploaded online. No one attempted to help them. I watched the video and every second of it broke my heart. The one thought going through my head was this could happen to me. There have been no comments from the Nigerian police on this issue.
A man was also outed on social media via pictures that were taken when he was having sex with another man. The pictures clearly showed his face and he was tagged in the post, thus making sure that everyone who saw the picture knew exactly who he was. People immediately began condemning him and calling for him to be arrested. He has since gone underground. The worst part of this entire spectacle is that it was orchestrated by another gay man. Talk about drama.
In other Nigerian news, petrol queues are starting to form due to shortage (real or induced by those with ‘vested interests’ – sometimes you never can tell). This is yet another problem that was placed lower down in the priority list as fighting homosexuality went up. I hope Nigerians are seeing their tax Naira at work.
I spent sometime in DC recently and had quite a bit of fun. My friends took me to the clubs which were nothing short of phenomenal, filled with some of the most beautiful men I’d ever seen. And the gogo dancers! They were packing some of the biggest meat I’d ever seen up close. My mind kept screaming “they are naked men in the club!” as my eyes bulged at the never. I tried to chat up a couple of good-looking men but was shot down every time. I decided to concentrate on having a good time with the friends I came with. To complete my DC experience, one of the guys took me to an old, nondescript building with a big parking lot which was so full that we eventually had to park on the street after going round a few times and fighting for spots with a couple of other cars. I kept wondering what exactly was going on inside and making the place so busy. I repeatedly questioned my friend but all he gave me was a very secretive smile and three words: just be patient. When we finally got in (after standing in line for fifteen minutes mind you), I found myself in a seedy house filled with small dark rooms, winding corridors and glory holes. What really surprised me was that the building was filled with the guys I’d seen in the club who had acted like they weren’t interested in talking to anyone. Now they were all smiles and touchy-feely, patrolling this joint like police men on red alert. I’m not sure why this bothered me so much. It’s almost like these guys felt too proud/ashamed/insecure to talk to themselves in public (public here meaning gay bar) but would go to such dark places where they could have sex without knowing/caring who they were having it with and forget about it tomorrow along with the fact that they may not have used condoms. I kept wondering why such places exist, after all being gay is legal already. What is it that is so attractive about mindless hookups? Was HIV eradicated while I was sleeping? Am I really that vanilla that I don’t get it? Is being gay still a problem for gay black men in the US? Why would anyone choose this over something more meaningful? Even with all the problems I have had with my relationship, I would still choose it over this.
Different strokes for different people. Then again, what do I know, I’m not African-American and I don’t know the struggles they face. I’m glad I had this experience though.
I was hanging out with an older cousin recently when she asked to see my phone. I don’t know if I had momentarily forgotten the kind of information I keep on that device or if I was subconsciously trying to out myself. To cut a short story even shorter, I gave the phone to her then spent the next five minutes holding my breath while feigning nonchalance though my eyes were involuntarily drawn to the screen as she scrolled through my applications list and past the popular gay chat apps – Grindr etc. Read the rest of this entry »
A few months ago, someone started thread in an web-based group with this question. He then followed by stating that he did not think any GLBT should be allowed to raise children. When questioned further, he said he didn’t have any reasons, this was his “gut” feeling even though there is existing evidencecontrary to what he believes. On a regular day, I wouldn’t have cared about this sort of nonsense but what angered me the most was that this was a gay group and this guy was very gay.
One type of music I’ve not enjoyed a lot of is rap, the mainstream kind. Sure, there are a lot of lyrical folks out there but most of them eventually fall into the habit of creating music centred around driving the flashiest cars, having a 5-some with 5 beautiful women and generally spending tons of money. It’s hard enough having to pretend caring about that girl’s backside when I’m with straight friends and I’d rather not spend my private time pretending some more. My fantasies also do not involve driving flashy cars or anything more than a 2-some.
Enter Goody Goodies from Cakes Da Killa. He’s a twenty-two year old rapper from the US who’s been out since thethird grade. I enjoy his pace and sassy yet funny persona although some of his lines are rude and occasionally I felt like wiping my speakers down ’cause they had been violated by an onslaught of F-and-N-bombs (up until a few years ago I couldn’t listen to any song with the F-word anywhere, the censored versions with the gaps were even worse). These days there are out gay rappers who are making good music (and not just gay music) so I guess it’s time I explored this genre of music again. I can’t wait to listen to what he makes next.
For all the negative comments and homophobia from heterosexual people, they seem to be keenly interested in what gay men and women do in the privacy of their bedrooms. I got to see this Buzzfeed post through a friend and though a lot of the pictures are funny, some of them are quite rude and it’s interesting that many of these questions are similar to the ideas people have here about gay people; only instead of questions, people make sweeping, baseless and inane comments on a topic they haven’t even bothered to even Google, to say nothing of actual research. The one about straight man hitting on a lesbian in a bar is on point on a personal level: my gay friend and his straight friend got kicked out of a gay bar because the idiot kept hitting on all the women there since he believed he could “convert” any lesbian there with his anointed “staff” boosted by confidence-inducing power of cheap beer. While I understand that people are just interested in learning more about stuff they don’t know about, it helps to display a little tact and common sense with making queries which goes a long way towards making one seem like a genuine person as opposed to a moron.
^^^^^Of all the pictures, this one made me laugh like a hyena on acid.
Twenty-three year-old Lunga Voko was beaten with fists, bricks, an iron rod, and had a part of his ear shot off by a group of men all because he was gay. This occurred in Cape Town, South Africa, an African country noted for being one of the only ones in which being gay is legal. This terrible attack occurred on 31st March which was Easter Sunday. Coincidentally this was also his birthday. Read the rest of this entry »
I must confess, though I find some TEDx programs and talks enlightening, a lot of them I don’t identify with. I do have the app and will occasionally check it out to see what’s new. This video I got to see via a friend’s recommendation and is one of the more interesting ones. It involves actor/writer/photographer iO Tillett Wright who is on a mission to photograph 10,000 faces across different cities in the US in her project entitled Self-Evident Truths as a way to bring people to see the modern day face of “gay” and challenge them to deny the LGBTQ family rights that are common to all human beings. Read the rest of this entry »
Just after reading that the anti-gay bill was slowly making its way again in Uganda, it seems another African country has decided to go down that road. The Gambia, the smallest continental African country known for its beautiful beaches, friendly people and infamous autocratic ruler Yahya Jammeh (of the ridiculous HIV cure) has passed a law that metes out life sentences for aggravated homosexuality – meaning having sex with someone who has been drugged, a minor (below 18 years), or with an IQ below normal. Currently gay sex in the country is punishable by a five to seven-year jail sentence. While The Gambian President is yet to sign it, I have little doubt that he will, after all this is a man who said on national television recently that : “We will fight these vermins called homosexuals or gays the same way we are fighting malaria-causing mosquitoes, if not more aggressively.” It’s quite interesting that The Gambia does deal out such sentences to men who sleep with underage girls or marry them. According to UNICEF, about 46.5% of girls are married before 18.
Purple Gloves 