More About DC
This is yet another African gay blog.
I started this blog because I needed to talk about the things in my head without being considered a pariah – especially by the gay people I knew who were mostly interested in getting married (to women) while seeing their boys on the side. And so I began to withdraw from people but it wasn’t enough. I was slowly going crazy from holding back so many things, forcing myself to pretend to talk about women or drinking or sports when I really wanted to talk about the sort of life I wanted to live, the freedom I needed in my everyday life. Gay issues were also beginning to feature in the media and never in a good light – a gay man was either an import, a feminine man who would wear makeup in public or someone from a very poor background who probably had sex with men just for money. I want to refute them but I can’t. The inability to do so me feel impotent, like a coward and filled me with frustration. Like David Kato said, if you keep quiet “they will say we are not here.”
It wasn’t some “foreigner” that took advantage of me. It wasn’t some school mate that “converted” me. Though I’ve struggled and denied it time after time, I know who I am. I am gay. But I’m so much more than that. After all, before I was born my parents knew they I would be black, they knew I was a boy at birth. Being gay is only a part of me and a part of me that I cannot change just as I cannot change my ethnicity or sex but it certainly isn’t all of me.
This blog is my way of releasing tension and freeing my mind of the many thoughts that are constantly seeking expression, of talking about private but equally important parts of my life in a way I am unable to do so with the people who matter the most to me.