An Evening With A Scoundrel

12 Jan

ScoundrelBeing single and without friends in a new city can be tough. Meeting men isn’t especially in a place like London. I recently met a slightly older gentleman who was very hot, friendly and funny (humour is a big thing where I’m concerned). We had drinks a few times and danced the horizontal cha-cha. It was all very casual but he was beginning to get serious, calling and texting all the time and I wasn’t sure if I was into him that much (for reasons that will be discussed later). I let him know subtly that I wasn’t where he seemed to be but I wasn’t sure if he understood completely. However I actually enjoyed talking to him a lot and we continued to meet up for coffee (but without any more dancing). Anyway a few days ago he invited me out for drinks with a few of his friends. It was a fun evening and as things were winding down we were joined by a very good-looking, slender young man who sat next to him, not saying much. The evening took a very interesting turn from then on. For some reason, something about the man and the way he sat next to my friend struck me as off and a bit too intimate. As luck would have it, my friend decided to go for a smoke-break as his friends were taking off so it was just me and this new gentleman at the table. We started talking and I asked how he knew my friend to which he replied that they have been in a relationship for two years. I burst into laughter. I could see he was taken aback and I quickly calmed myself. When he asked how I knew him, I mentioned we met through a mutual friend (where our mutual friend was not a human being but a mobile phone application capable of reducing six degrees of separation to just one – at least where gay men are concerned). Once my ‘friend’ came back, I immediately excused myself and went home and haven’t talked to him since.

If you believe it works…

While I’m surprised (and highly amused) that he’s in a relationship, I wonder why he chose to lie about it and why he would put the two of us in the same room. Did he not consider the possibility that his man could ask how we know each other and/or that we would both be left alone at the table – like how it went down that evening? Why would he put pressure on me to consider something serious when he was already in a relationship?  For all I know they are in an open relationship (something I’ve been told is not uncommon here) and I hope for the sake of all involved that they are. As much as I considered telling this guy how I actually met his boyfriend (especially as I also felt dirty – even though I didn’t know this rascal wasn’t single) I wasn’t sure it was a good idea, especially in a public place. The last thing I would want is to be part of a couple’s fight in a restaurant. In the end, I’m just glad that what could have been difficult became ridiculously easy.

Next time I meet a guy in this town I will be running a polygraph on him before the evening is over. Apparently there’s an app for that too 🙂


Posted by on January 12, 2014 in Love is a Battlefield


Tags: , , , , , , , ,

15 responses to “An Evening With A Scoundrel

  1. mpwilson

    January 12, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    Yeah London can definitely be a difficult place to meet honest and single guys. I’ve been in similar situations too often to count. It’s almost interesting (and definitely disturbing) how casual they all seem to be about being open or playing around. The worst are the ones who are open about being partnered and then play the ‘what if I was single’ mind game with you as if that was an actual possibility (personal experience, unfortunately..).

    • D.C.

      January 12, 2014 at 3:15 pm

      Whoa hat’s a very mean thing to do. I don’t know if I could ever be okay with open relationships.

      • mpwilson

        January 12, 2014 at 5:45 pm

        Yeah I agree.. And sadly every time he does it he doesn’t understand why I get upset with him. Some guys in open relationships seem to think its ok and ‘normal’ for them to have their partner and a boyfriend on the side.. Which narrows the dating pool for us singletons looking for other singles.

      • D.C.

        January 13, 2014 at 10:05 pm

        I feel for you (hugs).

  2. aguywithoutboxers

    January 12, 2014 at 2:53 pm

    Sometimes, dating can be pure hell! It’s frustrating, disappointing, stressful and maddening. My friend and blogging brother, I know that I’m not telling you something that you already don’t know. But then, there’s the time that you meet a man and something just feels right, good and it makes all the hell worthwhile. Those are the memories to recall.

    Now, as to the polygraph: beware! Some men have the uncanny ability to lie!

    Much love and naked hugs, buddy! 🙂 Great post!

    • D.C.

      January 12, 2014 at 3:17 pm

      Lol! I hope he comes soon. Thanks and much love 😀

  3. gaydinosaurtales

    January 12, 2014 at 3:25 pm

    The WORLD can definitely be a difficult place to meet honest single guys.Don’t blame the city-it’s the people who live everywhere who can be dishonest. Good that you felt he was moving too quickly, and you were not falling for this man. Maybe one of the reasons you weren’t as interested in him as he seemed to be in you was because you are clever enough and wise enough to see through this snarky bastard. Good post and good man! You are already far wiser than your years. You will do fine in life.

    • D.C.

      January 13, 2014 at 10:06 pm

      Thanks and thanks 🙂

  4. keredim69

    January 12, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    Great post. Though I am not convinced you think this sort of behaviour is unique to London. (You have lived in Africa, no?). Call me cynical or jaded, but i believe gay relationships that last over two years, in an environment where there is no shortage of easy hook ups, do so because there is a third party knowingly or unknowingly involved.

    Welcome to London

    • D.C.

      January 13, 2014 at 10:10 pm

      Honestly, people cheat and in particular men cheat – gay and straight. And I do know a lot of men in both camps who sleep around. But taking your partner and your side hussy (in this situation me) to meet your friends is new to me. I’m not sure if cheating helps a relationship last, if anything it exposes you to other guys that could potential wreck your relationship, especially if the cheating is being done secretly.

      • keredim69

        January 13, 2014 at 10:18 pm

        Trust me, there is more to come…

      • D.C.

        January 13, 2014 at 10:30 pm

        More to come?? Maybe it’s time I took my vows 😀

      • keredim69

        January 13, 2014 at 10:31 pm

        …that will only make you more of a target….

      • D.C.

        January 14, 2014 at 1:59 pm

        Lol. I guess I will just have to let life/love happen as it wants to and enjoy the journey.

      • keredim69

        January 14, 2014 at 2:26 pm

        Yup mind your wallet during the journey and always where a condom.


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