“We Could Have Been Famous Friends”

by Nancy Standlee http://nancystandlee.blogspot.co.uk/

While having a much-needed tea break in a nearby café just before closing, I ran into a friend and colleague I hadn’t seen in a few months. We’d become friendly after we collaborated on project but when the it ended and we went back to our departments, we never seemed to find the time to meet up. It was unfortunate as I enjoyed her company and she was one of the only gay people at work I was friends with. However I wasn’t out to her. She once described me as “the straightest” straight man she knew. While I was amused, I wasn’t sure I liked that description especially the frisson of pleasure I felt when she said it. Did that mean I was completely boring with no redeeming qualities? Was the fact that I felt some pleasure inside mean I was still clinging to the hetero-normative ideas of manhood and had a problem with feminine qualities I or other men possessed?

 

The ‘Scissordemic’ and Other Things Lesbians (and Gays) Don’t Want To Hear

For all the negative comments and homophobia from heterosexual people, they seem to be keenly interested in what gay men and women do in the privacy of their bedrooms. I got to see this Buzzfeed post through a friend and though a lot of the pictures are funny, some of them are quite rude and it’s interesting that many of these questions are similar to the ideas people have here about gay people; only instead of questions, people make sweeping, baseless and inane comments on a topic they haven’t even bothered to even Google, to say nothing of actual research. The one about straight man hitting on a lesbian in a bar is on point on a personal level: my gay friend and his straight friend got kicked out of a gay bar because the idiot kept hitting on all the women there since he believed he could “convert” any lesbian there with his anointed “staff” boosted by confidence-inducing power of cheap beer. While I understand that people are just interested in learning more about stuff they don’t know about, it helps to display a little tact and common sense with making queries which goes a long way towards making one seem like a genuine person as opposed to a moron.

^^^^^Of all the pictures, this one made me laugh like a hyena on acid.

Read the rest here: 20 Things Lesbians Are Tired of Hearing

 

Dating 2.0: Of Conversions and Relentless Pursuits

These days it’s getting harder and harder to tell a woman you’re not interested and nip a potential difficulty in the bud. This year I’ve been in a couple of such situations where I meet a woman at work, at a function, in a shop and due to boredom/proximity we get talking and exchange numbers. Suddenly she lets it slide that she’s single and I immediately say that I’m not available and expect that to be end. But no, I start getting calls, invites: “What are you doing this weekend?” “I was just in your area and..” “There’s this play at the National Theatre..“, or my favourite: “Let’s just have sex, no strings attached” (this happened at work I kid you not).

 

Dangerous Relationships

I heard through the grapevine that a popular star was leaving his partner (also a popular star) on account of domestic abuse. I was like WHAT?! It doesn’t seem like a stretch to imagine it happens but for some reason I did not see that a possible let alone common occurrence that has been extensively researched.