Flirting With Bisexuality: How I Learned Too Much About Viagra

Over Christmas I got a call from my ex. Not my ex-boyfriend who I’ve talked about many times but the last girl I dated. Even though it has been a more than few years since we broke up, we are still in contact. Though we don’t chat often, when we do it’s always long, rich and interesting. We had been good friends before we started dating and we still had that friend connection. One of the things she said as she ended the call was how good she felt that we had remained friends, that our brief relationship made us drift apart and she looked forward to continuing our friendship. It made me remember our last month together.

Usually I would date good girls who wanted to “save it for marriage” as it suited me perfectly I was okay with playing but when things started getting heavy I always pulled back in order to protect their virtue, honourable knight that I am. However she was different. To begin with, she was very bold and open-minded about sex. She was also very ambitious, pretty, smart and we got on famously. After we broke up, my parents had the chance to meet her and they couldn’t stop talking about her. In short, she was everything I could ever want in a woman. The problem, of course, was that I didn’t want a woman. My friends kept pushing me to make a move as it seemed she really liked me and eventually I decided to try and we were off. It wasn’t a completely bad experience and I really did like being around her. However the nights she came to spend the night usually involved me lying awake till morning and waiting for her to go could have my space back to myself (feelings I didn’t have when guys came over) as well as trying not to suffocate under the scent of hair cream or the sensation of having a lot of hair (or weave – I can never tell the difference) in my face all night long.

So in the last month of our relationship, we’d been making out regularly and she kept hinting that we needed to move things along and fast. Worried about keeping it up in the presence of body parts that were not my desire, I talked to a friend who advised that I take Viagra. Up until then I had assumed only men above 60 who had problems with becoming or staying hard took the drug. Little did I know that a huge number of young people also used it and worldwide men aged 18-45 are known to be important consumers of the drug. My friends told me they took Viagra and other similar medicine all the time and I had nothing to worry about. I went to a nearby pharmacy and got a pack. The pharmacist cautioned me strongly about the dosing but being young and foolish as well as feeling under pressure I took a double dose, then after an hour with no real effect I took another pill. That’s where my troubles started.

While we were getting physical, I began to feel my heart beat rapidly. It was so bad I felt anyone in the room could hear it. I started feeling dizzy and my eyes became very sensitive to the light. However I considered all these side effects as insignificant when compared with the keeping it up, an aim which I had achieved. Suddenly her phone began to ring repeatedly and eventually she had to pick up and then rush off because she had some a family emergency. Suddenly I found myself stuck with a painful erection that wouldn’t go down, eyes that couldn’t look at the light, a heart that thought it was in a 100 metre-race and a body that wanted to pass out if I stood up for more than one minute.  After about 40 minutes and just before I decided to seek medical help (as the fear of death had started to eclipse the shame and embarrassment at explaining to the emergency room doctor just how I got into this state) I began to feel better and quickly disposed of the rest of the tablets.

I guess learned that if I met a girl who was perfect in almost every way for me on paper and in reality and yet I didn’t feel a thing, maybe I needed to just accept that and move on. Also the people who were pushing me to chase after her weren’t there to see me reacting to medicine I shouldn’t have taken in the first place.

This new year I plan to continue being true to myself and I hope you guys do the same also, as much as it is within your power to do so.

Happy New Year 🙂