How NOT To Win Friends and Influence People

23 Dec

friendsFriends are hard to come by and for some reason, good friends who are gay are even harder. Yes, everyone says that being gay isn’t enough reason to be friends with someone – people need to have other things in common to be friends and while that is indeed true, I find that true friends who are gay are ridiculously difficult to find regardless of the magnitude of compatibility on the friendship scale. The backstabbing, the gossip, the cattiness,the love of gayscapades – these are things that I cannot handle all the time and so I keep to myself and treasure the few friends that I have who see life as more than just a stage to show off how much drama they can create. A few years ago I met this guy online and even though we didn’t have a sexual connection, we got talking and became friends –  if you can call someone you have never met a friend. We have kept in contact and have shared many aspects of our lives thanks to Skype and other messengers but we just couldn’t find the time to meet since we were both very busy and lived in different cities. By sheer luck (or fate) I had the chance to go and do some work in the town he lived in and he was so excited that we were finally going to get the opportunity to hang out and talk old school-style (without the aid of technology). So I got into town, called him and agreed to meet up the next day for lunch. That was it. It’s been seven days and I have left several messages, called more than a few times and I haven’t heard from him. I thought maybe his phone was stolen, his laptop was stolen but I see him updating his status and tweeting everywhere so I can safely assume he’s alive and well. At this point I’m wondering if I’m just plain naive, stupid or both to think that someone who claimed to be a friend could suddenly disappear. I would be okay if it was supposed to be a hookup and suddenly the guy isn’t answering his phone. I just reviewed all the  messages I’ve sent and I’m beginning to seem like a stalker and I don’t like that at all. People are fickle and such events are not unheard of. But to be treated like this by someone I value so much is something I’m not at all used to. What hurts me the most and pisses me off even more is how much I miss my friend.

Maybe I need to have my head examined properly.


Posted by on December 23, 2012 in Mind, Body and Soul


Tags: , , , ,

6 responses to “How NOT To Win Friends and Influence People

  1. kenyanphil

    December 24, 2012 at 9:57 pm

    Been there. It is so refreshing to have a gay friend who has no sexual interest in you, and to lose them, quite sad. Hang in there 🙂

    • D.C.

      December 31, 2012 at 8:51 am

      Well said.
      Thanks man.

  2. angryricky

    December 30, 2012 at 10:49 am

    Yeah. Sometimes when I want to be friends with someone, I come across as too keen and they ignore me. It hurts.

    • D.C.

      December 31, 2012 at 8:58 am

      I can imagine. Sometimes it seems as if making new friends is like navigating a minefield, keeping them another minefield.

      • angryricky

        December 31, 2012 at 10:26 am

        Keeping them is easier for me, but mine tend not to be overly dramatic, like the one you talk about here.

      • D.C.

        January 1, 2013 at 3:27 pm

        I could do with a little less drama at this point in my life..


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