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Normal is The Watchword

23 May

After trying to “pray the gay away” without success, seeking help from my minister, contemplating suicide, going to see a psychologist (then dropping out when we had a difference of opinion), I discovered Exodus International. At the time I thought I had found a solution. I went to their site, looked at the pictures of happy “converted” teens, read the “testimonies” and decided that I would save up and check myself into one of their programs. Shortly after that, while going through random videos on Youtube, I came across one that talked about conversion therapy. This guy, who was the same age as me, said it didn’t work and was dangerous. Then I came across another. At that point I turned my computer off. I decided that these guys were not disciplined enough to go through the entire program, in any case no program was 100% effective. I had found a way to finally be “normal” and wasn’t going to give it up now. However blind belief has never been my strong point: I wanted to be sure. So I kept reading people’s stories, watching more videos till I saw this Michael Bussey video and read his apology. It dawned on me (more like crashed into my head) that there really was no cure. This had been my last hope of becoming straight. I was in low spirits for awhile but I began questioning some of the things I had accepted as fact and started to see that I was not damned, there is nothing wrong with being gay and that it’s okay to be me.

 

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