I just spent my morning reading posts and articles about LGBT victims of unspeakable assaults and murders (many of which have gone unsolved), teenage suicides, laws restricting rights of gays/lesbians and even more laws that are being enacted to strengthen pre-existing discriminatory laws. So many young people whose lives have been cut short or forever harmed by injustice.
I wonder if majority of the straight community (homophobes and fence-sitters alike) realise how hard it is to be gay.
Choosing to come out is probably one of the most difficult decisions most people will ever make in their lifetime. No one who makes this decision does it “just because”. It is definitely easier now than 50 years ago but it’s certainly not a walk in the park.
To come out, you risk losing the support of your friends and family, you risk losing your job, you become a target for every bigot with a misplaced agenda. You’re denied the right to marry, having a child is another battle, even the right to a hospital visit is denied you. No wonder there are still many men and women who are married to people they could never love and would rather stay trapped in a sham than live the life they really want.
Today I pay homage to everyone who has ever taken that decision to come out and live freely. No one chooses to be gay but it takes a lot of courage and strength to choose to be free.
May 13, 2012 at 2:24 pm
I hear you. I have been out for eleven years, but my cousin just recently came out after being married for seven years. She had a hard time when she did but she couldn’t live anymore pretending to be someone she was not. It’s a bit easier here, but she still found out who her real friends were when she decided to be true to herself, as did I. I’m enjoying your blog.
May 13, 2012 at 2:30 pm
You just made my day:)
May 13, 2012 at 3:58 pm
My daughter came out 2 years ago. When she told me it was through tear-filled eyes. I hugged her and told her I had suspected it for years, that I didn’t care. We are lucky to have a great relationship, and she credits me for raising her in a non-gender specific manner. Her father is another story. He loves her and they still have a good relationship, but he pretends her partner is just a roommate. He will never accept her for who she really is, and it makes me sad. They have found their peace, and I am glad, but a part of me holds it against him that he cannot be open-minded enough to truly accept our daughter.
I can see how hard it is to come out. Please know that there are people like me who will accept you for the person you are. Hugs ~Rainey
May 13, 2012 at 4:37 pm
Thank you so much Rainey.
Like you say, there will be people that will accept me, I really want the ones I truly care about to do so.
Considering it took more than 2 years for a friend’s dad to accept she goes to a different church from the one the family attends, there’s hope yet for your daughter and husband.
June 6, 2012 at 4:27 pm
I’ve been out and proud for 15 years. It was one of the best decisions I ever made. Some people think glitter bombs are beneficial but I think more good and more change comes from people coming out than anything else.
June 6, 2012 at 8:52 pm
Do you have any regrets about coming out though?